Why would I be proud of anything determined mostly by genetics and hormones? Notice I say mostly. Environmental effects do play a part, but in my view, it mainly enables the expression or repression of who you are.
I am grateful there is no ‘gay gene’ that has been identified in our DNA. The thought of there ever being one chills me to the core as I know it would lead to horrendous eugenics-based traumas being inflicted on so many people. I am aware that there are studies that show being LGBTQ+ is not down to genetics and hormones alone. A massive study in 2019 concluded that being LGBTQ+ “is a complex behaviour that genetics defiantly plays a part in”1. They did find evidence that there are some common genetic markers related to sex hormones and smell, but overall this only accounted for up to 25% of the genetics studied. There are also studies suggesting causal links between the influence of hormones, having an impact on our sexuality2. The scientific debate will always go on as there is often never one true answer to anything. Humans are too complex for that.
I do not believe there is ever going to be any simple biological answer about our sexuality. Yet at the same time, the very fabric of who we are is determined by our genetics. It is a complete pot-luck that forms our genetic makeup. On a memorable visit to the Body Worlds experience in London, I saw a wall of ‘sperm’ that spanned the room. The wall contained between 20 to 300 million sperm cells3 represented by rice. Only one of those will successfully impregnate the egg and achieve fertilisation. Every sperm has a different set of DNA. No two eggs are the same genetically either. The likelihood of me being me was so infinitesimally tiny that it blew my mind. From a Buddhist point of view, this is where karma plays a role in shaping who we are. Whether you believe in karma or not, it is a wondrous thing for us to be who we are and a significant part of that is purely based on the genetics and hormone lottery.
As for environmental effects, I believe they are negligible. I for example grew up in a conservative area of the UK, with a heterosexual family and was unaware there was such a thing as LGBTQIA+ until late in my teens. Yet here I am declaring my Pansexuality to you. I despair at the bizarre logic that thinks that gay parents will cause you to be gay when it is obvious that straight parents do not make straight kids. I knew I was attracted to all sexes and a variety of gender expressions as a teenager. Still, I did not have any way of experiencing it until I went to university when I first kissed a girl and most definitely liked it. I joined the LGB group as it was then known. It then became the ‘LG and Elly’ group. It turned out I was the only one who openly said I was bisexual so they felt it was perfectly OK to bully me because of that. I felt othered. I felt wrong. I eventually had a mental breakdown in part due to the bullying from my heterosexual housemates, so-called friends and the local student gay community. Yet when I spoke to them individually, all except one said they were not 100% gay but that being bisexual was not accepted so it was easier to say they were gay. The same went for the straight people who bullied me. Yes, they had felt a same-sex attraction to someone in their lives but would not want it known and would never identify as bisexual. It all seemed so wrong to me. Why can people not just be themselves? Why all the judgments based on societal expectations that serve no one positively?
There are plenty of people in the world who are unfortunately suppressed due to their environment, so no matter what sexuality they are, they can never admit it. It is still illegal to identify as LGBTQIA+ in 64 countries4 It may amount to ostracisation from your family, being put in prison or a death sentence. All this prevents people from being true to themselves. This causes depression, loneliness and anger to breed. At worst it causes people to kill themselves as shown by the recent increase in transgender youth suicides linked to the long waiting lists for gender-affirming care and the rise of Trans hate speech in the UK. I still do not get why such hate has ever been directed towards people for being themselves.
This I why I am proud of being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. In June 1970 the first Pride took place in the USA. In the UK our first Pride was in 1972. 5 years before I was born people were fighting for their right to exist, to be legal, to be able to show their love for each other the same as any heterosexual couple can. Community activism and support for LGBTQIA+ equality had been going on way before that though, and I imagine it will go on for many years. Until everyone can be safe and legal to love whoever they want then activism has to go on.
I don’t feel like I have done that much activism, but I have done what I could. I was the equalities and diversities officer at my university where several policies were changed to be inclusive of the LGB population at the time and I have given to various LGBTQIA+ charities over the years. I have written the odd blog post on various platforms and always share relevant content via social media. I will always argue for LGBTIQA+ rights, even in the most conservative of environments, and I would not even think of going on holiday to any country that does not welcome me with open arms nor work for any company that is anti-LGBTQIA+. Yet is that enough? Is there more I could be doing? I am sure there is and it will never be enough until everyone can be safe to be who they are without recrimination.
So to everyone who participates in activism, at whatever level they feel able to contribute I salute you. It has been a whole community effort over the many decades to get us this far. This is why I am proud to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. We keep on fighting, despite all the personal horrors we go through to be ourselves. We have fought discrimination on so many levels, from our families, our communities and workplaces, up to the highest courts in the land. We keep on putting ourselves out there, year after year, decade after decade and passing on the fight through the generations. We are winning, we are seeing so many positive legal and cultural changes happening. Yes, it does seem like sometimes it is one step forward and two back, but the momentum is onward and upwards. We are strong and we will keep on going until being, gay, lesbian, pansexual or whatever definition you like, raises no eyebrows and doesn’t end up with us in chains or stoned to death.
Right now, I am helping the Trans Support Hub UK with its fundraising efforts. They have been putting on clothes swaps for Trans people in Manchester and other northern towns. They would like to spread these across the UK and are starting to raise funds so they can do this. There are other plans such as Trans specific support app that I can’t wait to see up and running. If you have £1 a week spare and would like the chance of winning up to £25000 every week, you can support them by entering the Rainbow Lottery using this link.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/massive-study-finds-no-single-genetic-cause-of-same-sex-sexual-behavior/
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1529100616637616
https://www.open.edu/openlearn/nature-environment/natural-history/sperm-counts
https://www.humandignitytrust.org/lgbt-the-law/map-of-criminalisation/