5 things I do differently to support my mental health now that my physical health sucks!

It is mental health month - or was - I get confused - but here is my post anyway.

Yeah, I’m feeling rather arrrrrgh at the moment about my lack of health. Sometimes I can be calm and chilled, living gently, accepting my newfound limitations and going with the flow. Today is definitely NOT one of those days. I feel hyper-emotional and pissed off with life in general. Besides losing my voice this week and being unable to do much of anything thanks to the most horrendous cold I have had in over two years, a myriad of other shizzle has been going on - mainly in my head, admittedly, but still enough to leave me grumpy and out of peaceful vibes. Now, this does not make me the best person to be around, although Izzy, bless his little heart, is curled up in my lap as I type this post. Cats - where would I be without my beautiful boys? They are indeed one of the many things I rely on to help me cope with mental health in general. Here are five others because I’m following

Megan Anna Neff

and

Hanna Keiner (she/her)

lead, albeit from a slightly ranty point of view…shall we:

1. Journaling - it really, really helps!

Trust me when I say that my new journaling habit has saved my life over the past two-plus years since I picked up a notebook and started scrawling away in it. I NEED to get thoughts out of my head. When I didn’t have the energy to talk to people or when no one was available as guess what…they had lives to be getting on with that didn’t involve lying down 24 frigging 7 in pain and fatigue and I was soooooo happy for everyone (genuinely - gratitude practice works!) BUT - I still needed an outlet to get rid of the overwhelming darkness thoughts in my head. I know better than to inflict that upon anyone else who isn’t a trained counsellor or helpline worker (see number 2). So I ended up journaling either on my phone via typing or voice control, or writing in a notebook. It is how I started this Substack. Now I have rather gotten into journaling and rekindled my love of fountain pens alongside it. There is something about the flow of purple ink on paper that leaves me feeling at peace whilst helping me improve my writing skills. I’m even thinking of giving calligraphy a go as a result. I would quite like to be able to go back and read some of my writing from the past two years, but unless it was typed, there is no chance - but hey, it felt cathartic at the time and that is what matters!

2. Talking to trained professionals

Now in ‘the before times’, when I had health and therefore could work full time and make money, I used to go to a counsellor weekly. Having that sacred space to talk about whatever was going on was invaluable in helping me manage my mental health. I have had a diagnosis of Bipolar and PMDD - both illnesses that come with huge potential for emotional dysregulation. A potential my brain has realised fully over my nearly 50 years on this planet. Oh and then add in a potential AuADHD diagnosis, fibrofog and menopause and thank you brain *insert eye frigging roll here*. Now I cannot work full-time, so I cannot afford weekly counselling. Luckily, help is on hand. There are a variety of phone and text based help lines who are staffed with wonderfully kind people who are trained to listen and listen and nod in agreement at how crappy things are for you whilst cursing the run down underfunded systems that cause so many of the shite situations that people face today. Invaluable services that provide serious help when everything is overwhelming and you need to get everything off your chest. FYI - Here is a list of helpines in the UK covering every topic you can imagine, including general mental health misery.

As for counselling, it might be worth checking out if you have any kind of insurance that includes access to free sessions. If you work, your HR department might have details of counsellors available through employee health and wellness schemes. You can also get referred to your local NHS counselling services by your GP, although a waiting list is to be expected, so you can use the help lines while you wait.

3. Cats = JOY

It is lonely being at home whilst everyone is out at work, and you are too fatigued and in pain to do much to keep yourself occupied. Having my wonderful Wade and incorrigible Izzy use me as their cat bed was and still is soothing to me. They purr and are adorably cute. They make my heart go squeeee and remind me there is joy to be had in life, even when stuck in bed for the 99th day in a row.

Wade laying on my feet and Izzy on my turquoise bed

4. Let it go…

By ‘it’ I mean the past. Yes, I used to enjoy a night out being twirled on the dance floors, yes, I enjoyed pumping iron to Iron Maiden, and yes, I enjoyed the peace of wild swimming. Nope, I cannot do any of that stuff any more. Until March this year, I was in way too much pain thanks to fibromyalgia, and now I am on miracle medication that has got rid of the pain; I am still floored with fatigue. I tried to do a simple, gentle yoga class. Big mistake as it put me in bad for a whole day recovering. Joys of post-exertional malaise (PEM). I hate this body of mine. I feel weak, blobby and unfit. Plus, exercise was an awesome emotional regulator. I have often spent time in kickboxing or karate classes over the years and it helped me manage my mental health. Yes, I like kicking and hitting things, and I'm still a Buddhist! Now I cannot do that. I cannot even walk to the local park. And whilst I can chill out in my own meditation corner at home and listen to classes on line, it is simply not the same as being able to go into the local Buddhist centre or to one of the festivals where I can meet with Sangha from all over the world that I have know for years, surrounded by stunning countryside and inspriational teachings in the temple that soothes my brain whenever I am fortunate enough to be in it. So anyway - let go of the past. I have grieved past versions of myself and am mostly okay with where I am now (see the post below for less grumpy thoughts on this topic).

Grief, Impermanence & the Illusion of Who We Were

5. Mindfulness & Meditation

Mindfulness is about being in the moment without judgment. It allows me to be somewhat objective about my physical and mental condition. Yes, my mind is seriously in shouty mode right now, but I am not a shouty person every moment of the day. Yes, my body is fatigued, my calves are tight, and my shoulders are tense, but those sensations change regularly. I am not always tight, tense and in pain. Sometimes I am relaxed, happy and enjoying life. Mindfulness allows me to recognise the impermanence of thoughts and emotions. This allows me to let whatever it is go unless genuine attention needs to be paid to those thoughts. Meditation helps me to transform those thoughts that need attention. My grumpiness today will not outlast the moment I hit the publish button on this article. I will sit here and bring up a guided breathing meditation to help calm my mind, I will then choose meditation practices to help me recognise what I do have in my life to be grateful for, generate loving kindness towards all living beings and make a wish that everyone will find peace and happines within this lifetime. Whilst this is not remarkably different to what I was doing in ‘the before times’, I went through such existential dread and medical trauma that I needed to review and rebuild my faith upon new grounds. I now acknowledge its essential presence in my life for helping me manage my mental health and use it all the time. That is part of the reason I offer ‘Mindful Mondays’ for free every lunchtime. I want to help everyone find at least one mindfulness or meditation practice that works to help them manage their mental health.

I could keep the list going if I had the energy to do so. Chocolate would be in the top 10. I adore VIVE bars as they are lactose and gluten-free yet yummy (I don’t get any kickback, btw; they genuinely are yummy and crucial for helping me manage my mental health!), as would voice messages, texting and video as remote comms are awesome when stuck in bed and can’t travel to see friends any more - yey for tech. The last thing would be my Visible Arm band (£15 off for you and me if you use that link btw) as that has helped me understand more about my fatigue, figure out I potentially might have POTS too and helped me learn how to pace to keep my energy and mental health from diving (well there is an attempt at that - no human is perfect after all!)